To a woman who seeks commitment, a player is a nightmare. Players are men who have mastered the art of masking their unwillingness to be committed. A woman gets involved with one and does not know he has no intention of committing to her. Because he hides it so well, she is drawn to believe he genuinely loves her. As a woman seeking something serious, it is in your best interest to identify players and stay away from them. In this article, I will be exploring 10 ways to tell if he is a player. I’ll be teaching you to uncover his ruse:
1. He has Mastered the Art of Saying Much but Revealing Little
I’ll tell you what: playboys are masters at this art of saying much but revealing little. In this classic deception technique, manipulators maneuver in a bid to make their victims feel comfortable enough to trust them.
They talk so much. But at the end of the conversation, you find it almost impossible to point out one thing they said. It is almost as though every fact has been left out, and all they did was talk about nothing.
If a man you have just met seems to talk a lot about everything but reveals so little you barely know what he has been trying to say all along, he is most likely a player.
When he says so much to you, you may be drawn to think he is vulnerable. But the truth is, he is not. He is just talking, so you can get comfortable enough to talk too. He isn’t revealing. You’ll be doing yourself a disservice if you go on to trust him.
2. He Avoids Uncomfortable Conversations with Remarkable Ease
Every player knows that there will be times when women ask them uncomfortable questions. Questions like: What are your plans for all this? What are we? When are we going to get together? The list goes on.
So, they master the art of avoiding these questions. Using humor and sarcasm, they redirect every conversation they find uncomfortable.
For example, if a woman asks a player if he really loves her, he will never answer directly. That is, say yes or say no. Instead, he will turn the question around in such a witty, sarcastic way.
He will say something like: “Do I not look like someone who loves much? They say I love too much for my age.” The woman laughs. And at once, another conversation begins.
If your man does this, you should consider the possibility that he is a player, especially if he avoids your eyes while at it. When people avoid eye contact when answering a question that puts their loyalty to the test, they are most likely lying.
People who tell the truth and are genuine will not practice avoidance. They will say yes to your face.
3. A Player is Always Busy
Players are quite busy people. This is partly due to the fact that a number of women share their time and attention. Who would be involved with so many women and not be busy?
If you are involved with a player, you will find that he is unavailable most of the time. He texts back days after and only remembers you exist when it is time for a date or whenever he wants you to visit, especially if you both have already had sex.
He only checks up on you only when he wants to fix dates. Plus, the dates, at least most of them, are on his own terms. You can’t fix dates because he will be ‘too busy’ that day.
4. You Don’t Know Anything About Him
In No. 1, I mentioned that players are masters of the art of saying much but revealing little. This means you are going to know little to nothing about him. You are only going to know the area he works. You are not going to know exactly where, and you won’t know what he does as a job.
Sometimes, it is so bad you barely know his house. All your dates are going to be at some faraway place. And if you both have to sleep over, he will book a reservation in the hotel.
He will keep his love life away from you, and you would not once hear him talk about his exes. Playboys almost never talk about their exes.
Most times, they make it seem like the woman they are currently seeing is their first love. They are usually in the habit of saying things like: “You are the first person I have ever loved.”
Don’t believe that.
5. A Player Lies
What is a player who doesn’t lie? Every player lies. It is part of the job description. They lie about the little things and seem to have a counter excuse for everything. You blame them for something they have obviously done, and a counter excuse pops up.
If your man has an excuse for everything, if he says all your complaints are ‘just in your head’, then I am sorry to break it to you that he is most likely a player.
If you have caught him in a lie at least a couple of times, then he is definitely a playboy.
Test him. Put him in a position where he has to choose between telling the truth and lying. If he lies, then you know what you are onto.
6. He Flirts With Every Woman
Players love female attention. Having so many women in their grasp gives them something like a sense of masculine pride. Masculine pride, I tell you, is like a lion that has to be fed, especially a player’s. A player has his way with one woman and goes to the next, and then the next.
If your man is a player, you will find that he flirts with every woman. You could be out together on a date, and he has his eyes on another woman. You could be walking down the street with him, and he winks at any and every woman he finds attractive.
Women are going to love him too. Players sometimes have this warmth that attracts other women. So, if every woman loves your man and is fine with spending a lot of time with him, then you know. You know.
7. He Does Not Have any Female Friends
A lot of times, players have their way by feigning commitment. And, girl, they are great at this.
Many women who come in contact with players for the first time would swear that these players are loyal and committed and have nothing to do with other women.
Whenever a man is too committed to you or at least appears to be, then you want to shrink back and figure things out.
Does he really not have female friends, or is he just keeping them away from you? My guess is that he is keeping them away from you. Why is he doing this? Most likely because he knows he could get into trouble if you managed to meet his female friends.
8. His Friends are Players
Players come in cliques. Seldom will you see a player who is isolated. They go out together. Meet new women together. Spend together, etc.
If all your man’s friends are players and flirts, it could mean one of two things:
- It could mean he is the odd one out.
- It could also mean that, like them, he is a player too.
Weigh the possibilities of him being the odd one out. Slim, right? Yes. Because he is most likely a player.
9. His Social Media is Red
By red, I mean that he is fine with posting the most inviting things. If you find pictures of your man bare-chested on social media, then you should know he is a player.
Social media has slowly become a place where just about any player can go get female attention. Women see pictures of bare-chested men and are immediately drawn to these men.
Do you think men are going to say no to female models on Instagram?
This is very unlikely.
If in addition to posting flirtatious things on social media your man is almost always with his phone, smiling at the screen and maybe even blushing, then you should doubt no more. He is a player.
10. Your Gut Tells You He is a Player
Sometimes, we are able to tell when things aren’t right—gut feeling. If you feel that he is a player in your gut, you shouldn’t dismiss this feeling. It is there because your subconscious has sensed something deeper than the surface and is trying to signal you that something is wrong somewhere, somehow.
Photo by Lauren Richmond on Unsplash