A beautiful woman is going to be approached by a lot of men. Some of these men are going to be genuinely interested in her, and some are going to be faking it. Being able to tell which guys are genuine and which ones are not is, thus, a necessary skill every woman should learn so that she does not fall into the hands of emotional bullies.
Fakeness is not so hard to sniff out. People who fake their intentions are seen to follow a pattern that can be observed and identified. In this article, I will show you 10 ways to tell if he is genuine or faking it—I will show you patterns to look out for:
1. You Feel Something is Off
Often, we neglect our intuition, not knowing that intuition is a protective mechanism our minds have developed to keep us from hurt. Have you ever felt so deeply that something was off, and the next minute, something off happened?
Well, that was your intuition, the feeling in your gut. And it is smart enough to tell you if he is genuine or faking it.
How do you feel about the guy you are currently seeing? Deep down, do you feel like he is faking it? Does his energy make you feel tense rather than relaxed? If yes, then he is most probably faking everything.
Genuine people usually make us let our guards down. Never the opposite. If you feel the need to constantly have your guard up, then you most likely want to avoid it.
2. He Talks Too Much
Talking, you see, is one of the ways people gain the trust and admiration of others. We humans often reciprocate whatever energy we are getting. So, when someone tells so much about himself, we may be drawn to think: “Oh, he trusts me so much and is talking a lot. I had better trust him too.”
If you come across a guy who talks a lot, you should begin to consider the possibility that he is fake. Fake guys talk a lot. And I mean, so much. They talk about anything and everything. They don’t mind spilling details about stuff you didn’t ask about and are known to bluff.
Genuine guys, on the hand, do not talk so much. They are careful with every word that leaves their mouth because they realize that words are not just mere words. They realize that words are binding forces; one is bound by his words and promises.
3. He Doesn’t Listen Enough
A fake guy wants something from you. A genuine guy wants you to be you, and he wants you to be happy. In relationships, guys focus on what they want.
A genuine guy realizes that listening to you a lot is going to make you feel loved and appreciated. So, he will listen to you. And he won’t feel bugged while doing this. He is genuinely interested. He wants to know about your day, about your professor, and about your boss at school.
On the other hand, a fake guy is going to hate listening to you. When he does listen to you, he is going to feel quite uncomfortable. He is going to wish he didn’t have to do this.
4. He Flirts Too Much
Guys who fake it most times just want sex. That is, they just want to hook up. So you will find that they flirt a little bit too much. Whenever you meet, there is going to be some touching, no matter how little the contact is.
In your conversations, there is always going to be something sexual even though he manages to conceal it. He wouldn’t know what to stop.
In contrast, genuine guys may want sex. But they won’t want it so desperately it makes them bug you with unnecessary flirting. If there is any flirting between you both, it is going to be warm, and it is going to be the kind of flirting that makes you comfortable.
You won’t feel objectified by a genuine guy. You will feel appreciated for being who you are.
5. Things Are Going to Fast
Fake guys have a mentality I call the “Let us just get this over with” mentality. They just want to get what they want and leave right after. This is going to make them rush everything.
A guy who is faking it will set the second date just after the first date before you even have space to breathe. And right after, they are going to ask to be in a relationship with you. Then, they ask for a sleepover. You know, things that make you want to go: “Hey, please calm down just a little bit.”
Genuine guys are nothing like this. They take things at a comfortable pace. Comfortable, as used here, means that they don’t go too fast, and neither do they go too slow. They take their time to build the bond between you both.
With a genuine guy, you will not feel compelled to run a race. You’ll be happy with how it is going.
6. You Know Too Little About Him
Cons dread being found out. They carry about an aura of uncertainty. No one really knows who they are, where they are from, or what they do. They just pop up, and when they leave, that’s that.
If you know too little about the guy you are currently seeing, then he is most likely faking it. He is not letting you know about him because he has commitment problems and fears the vulnerability that comes with being figured out by you.
On the other hand, if he is fine with letting you know who he is, where he is from, and what he does, he most likely is genuine. I mean, he has nothing to hide from you. You should consider this a classic display of vulnerability, which is just healthy for any relationship.
As a rule, guys who are not vulnerable and who reveal too little should be in your red zone.
7. For No Reason, He Hates Your Friends
When we meet a new guy, it is often hard to tell whether or not he is genuine. This is because the excitement of meeting someone new has some drug-like effect on us. It clogs our logic and makes us near-sighted, blind to the ruses of the person we have just met.
Our friends do not share in this excitement and so are not blinded by it. Unlike us, they see through every person we meet. They see the person for what they are and can even guess what they want.
Fakers especially guys that are players realize this, and this is why they don’t stop trying to isolate us from our friends.
When he tells you that he isn’t comfortable with your friend, you should interpret that as: “This friend of yours has figured me out.”—Especially if that friend is also not comfortable with him.
A genuine guy will love your friends, and your friends are going to love him too because they realize that you are in good hands with him.
8. He Disappears Every Now and Then, and Without Explanation
Guys who are faking it take ghosting to a whole new level. When things are great, when the conversations flow smoothly, they hang around. But things get a bit difficult, and they are gone. They return days or maybe a week after and start over as if nothing happened.
This disappearing and appearing is an unhealthy manipulation technique that works to make people crave attention more. If a guy ghosts you without Explanation, realize that he is manipulating you.
Genuine guys will seldom ghost women they are interested in. And, if they do, there is going to be some meaningful explanation for it.
9. He is Too Nice
When a guy is too nice, you have to shift back and consider the possibility that they are fake.
Too nice means that they let you have your way all the time. You say something that is obviously against their beliefs, and they agree to it like it is nothing more like they shrink themselves to be accepted by you.
Genuine guys won’t shrink themselves to be accepted by you. They realize that being genuine means being oneself no matter what. A guy who is fine with being himself is good for you.
10. He Still Flirts
Commitment comes naturally to guys who are genuine. They make their intentions clear and immediately commit. They cease flirting with other women, and especially not in your presence.
On the contrary, guys who are faking it do not display commitment. They may profess it, but they won’t display it. You will often find them being weird around ‘just friends.’
They’ll always be on their phones, smiling at texts from other women. They will tell you it is nothing when you ask. But the truth is, it is not nothing.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash